The Inner Tug-of-War Between Growth and Rest

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"Who do you feel called to be right now?"

A business coach challenged me to answer this question last week as we chatted.

As I tried to answer, I thought I was going to break down. Out of nowhere, liquefied emotion appeared in the corners of my eyes.

I wanted to lash out. The answer burning in my throat was retaliatory, angry, seething:

"I wish people would just STOP calling me to be anything!"

I swallowed this gut reaction and started to list out all the things I’ve felt called to be lately.

Provider for my family.

Patient, present, positive dad to 3 kids under five.

Impactful leader to 2 smart, talented, teammates working with me part-time.

Supportive husband so my wife can pursue her dream of becoming a full-time artist.

Location independent, because we chose to live in France and build a life around family, freedom and flexibility.

Fitter.

Smarter.

Healthier.

More successful.

Called to be… ‘better’.

Maybe it's just because I spend too much time on LinkedIn and reading books about success. But sometimes it feels like too much.

Not because I don’t want all these things. I do. But sometimes the pressure — especially the pressure I put on myself — gets bloody overwhelming.

Underneath the comparison, the ambition, the push to keep growing…there’s a part of me that just wants to lie on the couch and stop.

To rest. To shut the world out for a moment.

To not be called to be anything for a while.

I think a lot of us business builders carry this duality.

The drive to keep climbing… and the exhaustion that comes with always chasing the next thing.

I don’t have neat answers this week. Just some honest reflection. But maybe it'll help you to hear it today.

You don’t always have to be more.

For my part, I spent 4 days off with family over the Easter long weekend. I didn’t call on myself to be or do anything.

It was awesome.

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